So when I was much younger, what I wanted in a man was much different from what I want now. As you grow and open up your eyes into the real world, where you have to work to survive and you have real responsibilities, you look for different things in a man. Firstly, your definition of ‘having a man’ changes. When you’re young you do not see the person you’re with as an investment. And quite rightly, you’re just having fun. You do not have the same responsibilities as you do when you’re an adult. You cannot change how you feel about a person & if you’re young and have strong feelings towards someone you’re quite right to follow those feelings. When I was young I wanted a man who was well respected, could handle himself and was what you could call ‘on job’.
This hasn’t changed, but now I know there are so many different attributes to a man that are more important than his social status. When you’re young, the fact that he will have a good job and has a family orientated personality does not make you attracted to him. The fact that a man has social status, can stick up for you is attractive.
Most young girls are also attracted to money. Now, instead of seeing a future in a man – or boy- who studies hard at school or is working towards something that could in the future put him with a position with healthy pockets, they see the now. This is usually a boy who doesn’t work for the future but spends all his money to buy new trainers and jeans to impress girls like you.
And this is why it upsets me so much to see young girls giving their all to males at such a young age. I believe in love at all ages, and I think everyone should follow their heart. But to see a girl who is broken by a guy who doesn’t give a dam about them at the young age of 15 is heart breaking to see.
Yes, heartbreak hurts & that’s something sadly all girls have to learn to deal with in life. And it WILL make you a better and most defiantly a stronger person. But I think young girls should really be focusing on being amazing by themselves instead of focusing on males. What do you want to be in life regardless of who is coming with you or not? What are your goals & what are you doing to work towards them happening? You know?
I really wish I would have focused on making myself whole as a young girl instead of trying to fill it with a love from a man that was not really love. I wish I had learnt who I was before searching for someone to spend my life with. And I know you feel as if you know it all and you know yourself. But especially if you’re under 19 – you don’t yet. I’m still learning now!
And girls if you are young and hurting over a boy, I promise you will look back and laugh at yourself. Pain heals and you will be better at the end of the tunnel.